Missing a friend...

It drives me crazy that I miss my friend i had a crush on from karate. It's his birthday today. I wish I could wish it to his face. And I miss seeing around. he is gone in west to become a RCMP. I know I probably talk to you about him. We flirted sometimes, really wagely, but never did one of us did really make a move on the other.
The last time he was over in town, I've meet him while entering at work. During that evening, we did exhange a few texts. one from him was telling me to meet him. And then, a minute after, he said he was going to bed.
I think, someday, I just have the worse luck with guys.
And to make matters worse, one of my good friend, who is kind of naive, is not single anymore. The one that my best friend and I always make some teasing joke about her not making moves at all on guys. So I guess I'm the only one that is single now on my close circle of friend in town. Which is gonna suck. Being the 5th wheel. It did go with my Best Friend, I was use on her having or not having boyfriends. But I've never even seen this friend frankly flirting with a guy even when it was obvious that some were flirting with her.

Harsh world...

For a shy person!
Don't get me wrong, I'm a very outgoing person, but like I've told you before, when it comes to affair of the heart, I'm one of the shyest person I know! It takes all my courage to ask a guy out.
And to make it worst, what if I'm never alone with the guy I found attractive? Not making stuff more easy!
But I seem to have guy attention this weekend...Maybe not for the good reason, doh!
Change my picture on msn, and boom, some guys I haven't talk to for a while come and talk to me!
Why does affair of the heart are so complicated!

Answer please!

I never understood why some of you, men, flirt with other women, when you are in a relationship? you say you are in love with the woman, but will say to another that she is beautiful or that you enjoye her body.
Some of you will even go as far as saying that you will be interested into something else than just a friendship with that woman that is not your girlfriend or wive?
And lady, why do they do it? Or if you do the same thing with men, why?

Why does this happen?

So I don't remember if I talk to you about one of the guy that does karate with me that is a little bit younger than me. K has a really great smile, and i find him attractive! We've been vaguely flirting during classes, but nothing way obvious, because we are always surrounded by other persons.
So, a day last week, I was on my Facebook account, and he was on-line too. So i start teasing him, because he wasn't there for the last classes of this year, asking him if he was hidding. We talk a couple of minutes, when he ask me if I like partying, because him and a couple of friends when to a local dance club. And did i wanted to go with them. i wanted to go because it is my favorite club, and K seems to be my kind of guy. But they were going out on Saturday, and it was my nephew baptism on that day, so I told him no, and the reason.
And to make it worst? We only go out for supper after the ceremony! I knew it on Thursday or Friday that we wouldn't do much, but I was not able to reach him...
I hate it when this kind of stuff happen! I'm starting to think that I have the worst of luck with guy lately!

Ok!

i wonder why I really want to go to this mechanic... And after all, I really need to change my tires!

Don't you hate it!

So you all know that I do some karate. So there is that guys at karate, that would once in every blue moon, give me hint that he is attracted to me. Like on Tuesday, I forgot my waterbottle in the gym(our dojo) and only realise it when I had done changing. So I went to check there, I couldn't found it. I had some high hells, and they do make some noise. So he hear me from the changing room(the men changing room has a entry, with no door, leading to the gym). He ask me if it was me taht had forget her bottle. I said yes. He went to get it and give it to me. As i was walking out, he said to me to "stop making some noise". I told him, joking, "do you have a problem with it?"He said to me:"No, with them and those jean is have a great ass."
And what is wrong with that you should ask? He has a girlfriend(I don't know if they married). He might not be the cutest guy, but he is super nice and I'm kind of attracted to him... And I hate it when he does that. He is in a freaking serious relationship! I hate when men does that kind of stuff! It does rub my ego in the good way, but then, I know he is not free, and I'm not confortable even considering that kind of thing!

Yum, somr Dr. Pepper

To start I couldn't post today without wishing all of you an happy Valentine's day!
I'm feeling drunk!!Heve I drank today? No, I haven't drank alcohol since like 2 Sundays ago! Why am I feeling like this, then, you might ask! 3 doubles chocolate muffins! (And not these are not special muffins! I've made them myself, exept being dryer than usual, there are just plain, yummy muffins!) And I had 3 chocolates before these muffins! And why do this happen? I'm might be allergic to chocolate(or I've been told so when I was 10!)
Do I fucking care? No! I adore chocoalte, and this is one cheap buzz, and I have no headache the day after!!
But what suck in all this? Well, except the fact that I'm single on Valentine's day? I feel like going out! Going to the club, drinking, kissing some stranger...And eating some wings!!
But would I go? No! First the road are not the best today(freezing rain during the night yesterday!). Then I don't have single friends that are around my age still living at my place! And thirdly, i won't go alone, because I feel like I would look like a looser! And it is not fun being alone at a bar...I go to club to dance, and I don't see myself going dancing with random group of people(and since there is not a lot of you guys dancing, I probably won't be able to dance with some random cute men!)
And I'm still puttin more caffeine in my body, enjoying a well deserve bottle of Dr.Pepper!! I need to buy a case tomorrow...I'm really addicted to it!!

Me sad!

One of my friend just broke a bad new to me! Heath Leadger was found dead this afternoon!!It is suspected that he die from an overdose(I didn't even knew he took drugs!! I've never hear that on the news!)

He was one of the actor my age that I found the most handsome!

And I'm the person that watch A Knight's Tale like 50 times!!

Don't you have a clue??

Don't you see that I don't want to fucking hear about that girl?? You were suppose to be my friend with benefit!!
Don't you see how ridicule you are?? You just said one week ago that you didn't want to move there with your ex, and now you would for a perfect stranger?? You were fine where you are, and didn't want to change that for a girl!!
I'm getting angry with playing that "I'm only a good friend " game! You've told me that you had a crush on me, and I've told you I had one about the same that as you!
But you keep going on and on about that girl you want to meet!! You don't realise that I almost only use one word answer??
(Sorry, got to get this out of my mind!! He is being kind of a prick!)

Don't some of you have manners??

I'll try to write between sneezing!!
So, on Sunday, I was invited by a guy to pass some time with him!! I said to myself "Why not?? It's been a while since I had a date."
It's damn allergies, not a cold!!! To the fucking fire wood!!! Why don't we heat the house with something else?? Sorry about the complaining, I'm hate feeling this way!!
It end up not being a date at all. It was not only me and the guy, but one of his friend too. The guy just like talk to me like 15 sentences in 2 hours. I was freaking hungry, and since I wanted to have some time to talk to him alone, I ask him if he wanted to go grap something. He wouldn't.
The guy and his friend were waiting for some other friends to come. When those two friends show up, he left with the first friend. I went to go grap something to eat, because, did I said I was starving?? When I arrive, about an half hour later, they were still not there. So C.(one of the guys that arrive later) ask me if I wanted something to eat(it was steak, I think) and I said no(I had MacDonald's, what could I ask more??). Then, I ask the other one if he was french, because I've hear him said calice and chalet(cottage). So it start doing polite talk, what I was doing...
We end up talking about university. D(the second guy that arrive later) said that he didn't understand why the university was using so poorly translated french manuel!! This started a whole big conversation. A type of conversation I didn't had in a long time!! The type of conversation I had with my friends in university. The type of conversation I really like. We talk about how some people are close minded around here, how Acadians didn't seems to be able to put their past away and think of their future... Mostly of all and everything.
So it ended up that the guy I went to see was a jerk that left me with his friend for a whole 4 hours(C and D were so piss at them, excepcially him, because they were rude of leaving me there after inviting me!). But then, I didn't regret going there, because C and D seems like great guys. And I was invited to go see them where they work and where their band play.
So on Sunday, I met two jerks and two guys that seems great. But it is still weird!!

Predictable

Guys, can you tell me why the hell are you so much predictable??
So yesterday, I was chatting with one of my guy friend... We were talking about all and nothing... When he said he was leaving to take a shower...As my kidding, not serious, self, I said to him "do you need help to wash your back?" And he was like what... So I said to myself, why not tease him... After 5 minutes, I was not even pushing it that hard, he said "I need to go... And you know that I have a girlfriend" , but still ask me something else... And then he was like "bey, godo nigth". I wonder what he was going to do?!?

A new attittude??

We went, my sister and I, out to our weekly breakfast to our local restaurant. There was me, my siter, and my sister's husband godaughter. We put our command through when one of the guy I do karate with(we use to share drive to karate with him) arrive and came to sit with us, since he was alone.

I was really surprise of him, he didn't talk dirty as usual. (Usualy, he doesn't talk dirty to us, he will talk about sex, stripper, women he finds attracttive, strippers...) He didn't make a comment of that kind.

The worst thing, is even if I know he has so little respect for women, I find him physicaly attractive. He has one of this ass... one that could keep me distracted when we were doing karate and that he was in front of him... He has large shoulder, starting to have great pec and arms...

Could being in the army change him, and finally gave him some respect of women?? Being in the army put him in a better shape anyway...

I know I shouldn't be attracted to him, because I don't like his attittude towards women, but damn he has an attractive body and still is cute.

I'm hitting my head agains the wall, but I'm ok!!